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~~~
He had let her slip out of his hands, and into another's grasp.
And it was but his fault.
The sparkle in her eyes –
The faintness in her voice…
He knew that she was in love.
But with another.
'Fuu-chan…how I long to hear your voice…say those words to me…'
~~~
She played around with her food, her eyes looking at her lover across from her.
Raiha was beautiful. He was kind. He was sweet. He was always there when she needed
him. He was everything she wanted, everything she needed…but now, she could only feel lost within the words of the past, and of the present.
There was no question of doubt that she, Kirisawa Fuuko, loved Raiha. She loved him with her whole heart.
Her whole mind.
Her whole being.
With everything.
But she had loved Tokiya too.
And, in fact, she wouldn't be surprised if she had loved him more than Raiha.
Tokiya had been her first love.
Her friend.
Her brother…
He was her family.
She was surprised that she wasn't still in love with him…Even though all of the problems he had caused. Or was it…the problems she had caused?
Yes, she had left. To escape Tokiya.
But…had she also left to escape herself?
In hopes that she would some how forget him? Forget the love that she had for him?
Forget…everything?
But how could she?
He, too, had been her rock for so many years. He, too, had been there for her, whenever she needed anything.
He had always been there.
Or had he?
Maybe she had lost him, the first time he went out on a real date.
She had lost her 'claim' on him…? It was unintentional, of course, that he had deserted her so many times…And yet, she had continued to love him.
Until she left. The day she had left Tokyo, she left her heart behind with him.
But then she had met Raiha, and her heart had flown back to her, and into his hands.
Or had it?
She sighed, "Du problème le Coeur." (Problems of the heart).
She didn't know - her heart banged.
She was over him.
She was over him.
But now, even an hour after their meeting, her heart had kept a fast pace of beat.
Her mind still spun.
She looked at her lover again, and unconsciously began to compare the two men in her life.
Raiha was like the wind, soft, dazing, and cool…
Tokiya was like fire, hot, fiery, and burning.
The two were opposites; one thrived for romance as the other thrived for passion. And one had been too dense to realize that she loved him.
And that was why she had run.
France had been an escape route from her reality. And there, she had found Raiha.
She took another sip of her wine as the faded blue haired man smiled at her.
She smiled back, although her heart wasn't into it.
'I'm so confused…I'm over *him*… aren't I…?'
~~~
He had waited for so long.
So long…to tell her the three little words that she had told him so many days ago…
730 days, to be exact.
He smirked at himself.
'Tokiya, you're such a wimp. You should just tell her…', he thought, mocking himself.
'Tell her…'
But what would he tell her?
A nice little, "Hi, Fuuko-chan. You know how you told me that you loved me 2 years ago?
Well, I found out, the day you left, that I loved you, too. So how about you dump your boyfriend, and we can get married?", would definitely not work.
He knew, now, that she was just the passing wind…
He looked out the window.
Was this their fate?
That she would declare her love, to only have him turn her down? And then for him to declare his love to her, to only have her turn him down?
Was this what was to turn out of their years living together in the orphanage, and then the years of living together?
Her long full heart had gone to dismissal as he had picked it up, placing it close to his.
She was like another person now.
Still so beautiful, still so perfect, but… she had also grown up.
She was wiser to the world now. Not that naive young girl that she had been before.
She had a lover. She was loved. And she loved him.
'The exact opposite of you, Tokiya,' he thought. 'You pine for a woman that you will never have…'
Fuuko had developed in every detail as the perfect woman. Physically, mentally, and emotionally…And any other way that could count.
'And she could have…
'If only I hadn't been so blind…'
All those 'could have's' and 'what ifs'…
But in the end, you can't do anything. Destiny is destiny. You can't plot with it, nor against it, and you can’t change it neither.
It's always final with destiny.
What happens happens. And that damned mistake that he had made 2 years ago…had condemned him to loneliness.
For the rest of his life.
For if he couldn't have her…
.....he would have no one.
His head spun.
He had made the biggest mistake of letting her leave his life the way she did.
And now, after years of guilt and self-hatred, he was face-to-face with her, only to find out that she loved another.
Fate is so cruel. Destiny is cruel. Life is cruel.
'Toki-chan, do you love me?'
He smiled as he replied, 'Of course I do Fuu-chan… you know I love you, little sister…'
If only he had knew then why her face sadly fell with a dark shadow.
If only he had known…
If only he hadn't of been so dense…
If only…
But the clock upon time does not run backwards.
It only goes forth…
And memories are memories.
And mistakes are mistakes…
No matter how stupid or irrational they may have been.
~~~
She laid down upon her bed, sleepily holding the phone close to her. She began to pick it up, wanting to talk to someone.
She had just called Yanagi, who had been thrilled to hear from her, but the silence between
them was unbearable. After Yanagi had heard about Raiha, there was silence. And then Yanagi had began to speak, only to clamp her mouth shut.
It was as if she had wanted to say something, but decided against it mid-way…
Fuuko shook her head, and began to dial a number – absentmindedly. The phone rang and rang, and all she could do was wonder who she had called.
She did not remember clearly what she had dialed.
It was just a spur of the moment thing.
The phone was picked off of the receiver, and she took a deep breath in anticipation.
On the other line, a deep heavy voice replied to her, "Moshi Moshi."
She nearly dropped the phone in shock. 'But then', she thought, 'it would only be natural to call him when I was in need of something.'
"Moshi moshi, Toki-chan."
She had received no response, as heavy breathing was heard. But sooner or later, a voice had replied, recovered from the temporary shock, "Fuuko…"
Just one word, said many, many times before. But this time…it was different. The affection was still there, but there was something else…Shaking her head, she spoke.
"Toki-chan, today, our conversation was so short… I guess we had much on our minds. And…I wanted to talk to you more, but Raiha…"
He cringed.
"…had to come pick me up, like I had already said. I'd like to talk some more, though…I know that we both have more to say, so if you don't mind…?"
An open invitation to him. And he grabbed at it, with both his heart and mind.
"Of course I don't mind, Fuu-chan."
Her words had wrapped around him like a blanket on a cold day, "And hai… I had so much in mind of telling you, but I guess it didn't go right…"
She laughed softly, "It's alright Toki-chan. At least we can talk now."
"Yeah… So tell me, how was your internship to France?" He asked, as she leaned against the frame of her bed, the phone close to her as she answered.
"Wonderful. Everything was wonderful…"
~~~
Sunrise.
Dawn.
Colors.
Everything was beautiful…
And everything was pure.
He looked up upon the ceiling, a smile playing upon his lips.
They had talked 'til the morning sun had willed itself upon the sky, as the bright moon blended into the daylight once more. He smiled, feeling aroused in everything, surprisingly awake and ready to do anything although he had barely a wink of sleep.
"I never thought I could feel so wonderful…"
His voice was happy, without it's normal harsh edge. He had stood up to grab his coat, and began to walk out of his apartment with it in his hand. A large, delighted smile was lighting up his face.
He hadn't smiled like this since two years ago.
He hadn't felt so happy like this since two years ago.
And most importantly…he hadn't felt so whole since two years ago.
~~~
Author’s notes:
Yay! Done with chapter six! Anyway, sorry if it isn’t really that long since I have a lot of things in my mind lately. Sort-of like writers block.....
Anyway, I’ll try to make the next one more longer but I can’t promise anything. Watch out for chapter 7!
---Chi-chan-