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'So this is how it feels like to be such a fool.' She thought, as she looked at her best friend, who was happily talking and flirting with the 'love of his life.' And now what was she to do? Time had flown by as she prayed to the Lord that this would only be a 'fling' like the rest had been. His past relationships were all short, none of them reaching past a month. This girl here, Anna... She was something different. Both Fuuko and Tokiya knew it, and so Tokiya held onto her...
Her prayer had been unheard, for before she knew it, he was gone on Anna. Taking her out to movies, expensive dinners, picnics, and the fabled 'walk on the beach.' He was in love with her, and from what Fuuko had heard from Yanagi, Anna returned the feeling, ten-fold. Fuuko despondently looked down at her pasta, which was half-eaten and half-picked at. Was this how she was going to spend the rest of her life doing? Watching *him* from afar, wondering when he would finally realize that Fuuko was truly the love of his life, and not the new girl of the month...
She was so confused. She didn't know what to do. She didn't know what to say, what to think...'Tokiya-chan...' she whispered softly, unhearing from the couple across the table from her, looking at each other so lovingly.
He had left her again, sitting in the booth of the restaurant. Alone. He had gone off with Anna, chatting and smiling, without giving a second thought to Fuuko.
She knew she had to be happy for him but then she wished she'd also be happy.
****Flashback****
'Fuuko', he had said to her, 'Do you mind if Anna and I leave early tonight? We have *plans* for later tonight.'
Fuuko had winced.
'Plans, Tokiya-chan?'
she had calmly said. 'What kind?' Playing innocent had always worked before.
'Fuu,' he had said warningly, 'that's none of your business.'
She had gasped, eyes wide, her pink little mouth in an 'O' shape. 'Tokiya-chan!'
He had sighed. 'Gomen, Fuuko. Anyway, we're going to leave. Don't wait up for me!'
****End flashback****
'Don't wait up for
me...' Those words were ringing in her head, as she sat in the booth, her
hands coming up to rub her arms. She was wearing a sleeve-less dress, in
hopes that Tokiya would notice her. He hadn't. The
lovesick fool was
gone on Anna, and Fuuko knew it. Anna was beautiful. She was intelligent,
sophisticated, and liked by everyone. Even Fuuko had wished that she had
met Anna on a different level. She knew that they would've have become
great friends, had it not been for the fact that Tokiya was dating her.
'Don't wait up for me...'
How many times had she heard those lines, and for how many different reasons? They lived together, yes, but when was the last time that Tokiya had actually been home when Fuuko was asleep? She thought hard.
'About...2 weeks
ago?' She gave a sad smile. 'And to think that we used to play games before
we went to bed.' It was a tradition, Tokiya-chan...One that we had to break
because of her...' Shaking her head, Fuuko slid out of the booth, and walked
out of the revolving doors, heading for home.
Tokiya was having
the time of his life. He and Anna had gone to see a movie together, and
they were having a blast. Except for one little thing. Tokiya had guilt
running through his veins. Not much but still enough to make him feel bad.
'I shouldn't have snapped at her,' he thought sorrowfully, as he imagined her hurt little face, looking at him disbelievingly.
'After-all, it wasn't her fault...'
Anna had turned in her seat, ready to ask Tokiya a question about the movie. The words died in her throat, as she noticed the melancholy look on his face. 'It's Fuuko again, I know it is...Sometimes I think that those two are too close, but...I have him, and he loves me, and so I shouldn't doubt him.'
Satisfied with her way of thinking, she sat back comfortably in her seat, and enjoyed the rest of the movie.
****Tokiya and Fuuko's Apt. 1:27AM****
Tokiya quietly turned the lock to open the door that would lead him inside of the apartment. He shut the door, and turned on a light, so he would not run into anything in the dark. Hanging his coat on the rack, he shuffled inside of the room, walking towards his door.
First, however, he opened the door to Fuuko's room to check on her. Tokiya had, however, forgotten that the hallway light was still on, and the light poured into her room, some settling on her face, and she woke up.
"Toki...Tokiya-chan?" came Fuukos' sleepy voice.
"Hai, Fuu-chan. It's me."
Fuuko blinked and rubbed at her eyes. "Tokiya-chan...What do you want?" She turned over to look at the clock. "Nani ten yo?! (What, are you crazy?) It's nearly 1:30 AM! A girl needs her sleep, Tokiya, regardless of-" She would have continued to rant, despite her sleepy stage, until a warm hand covered her mouth. She instantly shut her mouth.
"Fuuko...gomen."
Her now large eyes blinked once. "Fooo whooot, toooookyuuu-fan?" Tokiya lifted his hand from her mouth, and Fuuko again said, "For what, Tokiya-chan?"
His light blue gray eyes looked at her, sorrowfully. "For snapping at you when we were at the restaurant, Fuuko. I really didn't mean to, and I know that you didn't deserve it, so"
A light peck on the cheek cut him off. "Tokiya-chan," Fuuko whispered lovingly, "Don't worry about it. I was too nosy, anyway. Whatever you do with Anna," she had turned her head away, so he wouldn't notice her eyes darken, "is none of my business, anyway. So cheer up, Toki-chan, and, "she said, in a light tone, "get out of my room! I need my beauty sleep!"
Tokiya stared at
her disbelievingly, before standing up, and bending over to give her a
light kiss on her forehead. "Fuuko," he whispered tenderly, "You don't
need anymore beauty sleep." He turned and sauntered out of the room, leaving
a wide-eyed Usagi staring after him.
Before he closed
the door, he turned towards her. "By the way, Fuuko-chan?"
Fuuko looked up. "H-hai, Toki-chan?"
Tokiya smiled gently
but a stern look was in his face. "Don't call me 'Toki-chan'. It doesn't
suit me well, does it?"
Fuuko shook her
head. "Iie. No, it doesn't."
Tokiya smiled. "Good. Sleep well."
When he was gone, Fuuko touched her forehead ever so gently - she never felt such an amazing feeling arose in her before
He had done it before, so many times, but the fact that he also called her beautiful - it was pure ecstasy.
"Toki...er, Tokiya-chan..." she called off, her eyes looking at where he once stood. "I love you..."
But that phrase was just empty words - for they never reached him. They only got lost within the space that separated them. The memory of happiness disappeared, as all she could hear was her heart slowly breaking, as reality had slapped across the face hard.
"But you will never..."
She curled up in a ball.
She wasn't able to sleep anymore.
~~~
Yanagi stared at her depression stricken friend - "Fuuko, you just got to give this up! I can't let you continue this...it's hurting you to much." Her friend's voice was desperate, so raw and full of emotions, mostly sympathy for her.
Fuuko looked up,
her navy blue eyes. Her eyes looked at Yanagi's solidly as she spoke two
words. "I can't."
Her voice was strong,
as the brunette shook her head, cutting up some onions. Today was a special
day - she was to make a banquet of food for her friend, and help her digest
it...
"Does he even know what today is?"
Fuuko nodded, surely. He would not forget it, for it had been he who had circled the date in red, a week or two ago. It was in red marker, around the day '2' in the month of August. Surely he knew, for it had been a day that they always shared together.
"He'll remember. He never forgets." Yanagi shook her head, as she began to saute the onions, as she began to add some mushrooms into the mixture.
"Wait a sec, let
me go get the mail." Fuuko bounced off, happily going on the elevator down
towards the lobby, as she picked up Tokiya and her mail. She looked
though it, as an envelope with her name on it made her heart beat faster.
The return address
was from France.
Fuuko ran towards her apartment, as she swung the door open. "Yanagi! Look, it's that internship that Recca-san and you told me to sign up for..." She said, as Yanagi grabbed the letter from her hands and tore it open.
Yanagi shrieked. "Fuuko! You got in! You are going to France for a whole two years!!" she hugged Fuuko. "I'm so happy for you!"
Fuuko's eyes scanned the letter over and over, shaking aside from her own excitement but because Yanagi was still jumping up and down while holding her.
After Yanagi let go of her and she jumped on her own, she finally thought of something. She would not be able to see Tokiya for two whole years.
How could she survive? How would he survive?
Fuuko stopped jumping and made up her mind. "This internship thing - it really isn't for me."
Yanagi froze, her eyes looking up at the blond who sunk onto a stool. "I like what I have here...I have you, Kaoru-chan, and Domon-chan...er, erase him, I have Recca-chan.... and there is also-"
"Tokiya?! Kami,
Fuuko! Everything you do, is always because of him! He has
Anna for goodness sakes! You can't always do this! Without him knowing
it, he is controlling every move you make! You have denied so many relationships...you
could, for all I know, be married by now if you haven't stuck to your ways.
I'm not trying to say anything, just that I don't want you to waste your
dream because of him...I know how much you want to be with him, but I also
know your wanting to be a famous fashion designer. This is YOUR big break
Fuu-chan! Think about it!"
"But you, Yanagi-chan,
Re..."
"Remember, you'll have Saicho there. You encouraged him when he had that same dilemma, and said that friend's can always keep in touch. After all, he has become a friend of ours. Why can't YOU follow your own advice?"
Fuuko felt her throat restrict, "I-I'll try to think about it...but now I have..." the phone interrupted her mid sentence as she picked it up.
"Moshi moshi, Mikagami / Kirisawa residence."
"Fuuko," the voice made her heart melt, "I won't be home today until late. It's Anna and mine's two month anniversary."
"But, Toki-chan, it's my..."
The dial tone responded.
"Birthday." she had finished up as she burst into tears in her friend's arms.
"He didn't even noticed I called him 'Toki-chan'!' she thougt as she continued to weep.
~~~
He came home around eleven... not as late as usual, he had noted. The main lights were dimmed as he walked about so casually, taking off his tuxedo shirt. "Fuuko..." he called out his friend's name. No reply. He looked around, as he concluded, 'Hmm...She must be in her room.'
He knocked gently and entered the room. "Hey Fuuko." She looked up at him, not knowing what to say. What was she to say, 'Ohh Toki-chan, you just missed my birthday?' That was something that she had not wanted to say.
"Hi," she replied simply, as he looked at her strangely. She noticed as his eyes roamed around the room, and when they locked with the beautiful bouquet of long-stemmed red roses. Those were her favorite flowers because they symbolized a deep and eternal love.
"Who gave you the roses?"
"Recca-chan." She bluntly replied. "He lives in the Jubban district -he's the one taking care of the flo--"
"The Flower Shoppe? Yeah, I remember. I thought he only sent you flowers on your birthda..." His voice was lost as she buried herself within the piles of blankets that surround her. "Your birthday...it was your birthday...?"
Out of all the occasions, he just had to miss her birthday. Her birthday had always been a sore spot in her heart - for it was the day that her mother had left her. He remembered hearing her talk about it, on the first birthday he celebrated with her, the mist of depression always surrounded her whenever she talked, thought about it.
And now, he couldn't help but think he had done exactly what her mother had done.
Abandoned her.
"Gomennasai Fuuko..."
She had heard that phrase too much.
Everything was now, "I'm sorry, gomen ne...gomennasai..." she couldn't help and wonder if any of them were true, or just petty words to make her feel as if he cared.
"Tokiya...I want to go to sleep. Leave me alone." He felt so taken aback.
"Leave me alone."
She had never said such words, and if she had, she always said it so delicately. But could he blame her? This was their day. The day they would spend together to wipe away the thoughts of the past that was in her mind. 'But even those days have been wiped away also...' Fuuko thought bitterly.
"Fuuko-chan..."
"Please. Tokiya," he flinched, "I don't want to speak with you."
"But, Fuuko-"
"Tokiya," she looked up at him, her eyes large in the darkness. "You left me...How could you leave me?" She shook her head. "It doesn't matter anymore...Nothing ever does when it comes to you."
"Fuu-"
"Leave. I want you
to leave."
The sharpness of her voice, the tension in the room...He blinked back the tears that had come up during her speech. Obeying her wishes, he walked out of the room, leaving her to cry herself to sleep for yet the second time this week.
~~~
The sweet aroma of pancakes filtered her lungs as she felt her mind pull her away from the wonders of the dream world and back into reality. She stretched, as she pulled herself up from her bed.
'Could it be Toki-chan cooking?' She shook her head.
Of course not. He would be off, happily talking and going out with Anna, instead of being here with her. It must be Yanagi then, she always knew how to mend her broken heart.
She trudged herself into the kitchen, "Hey Yanagi-chan." She then took a good look 'Yanagi-chan...' I never knew she had long grayish hair...and is an exact replica of Tokiya...'
"Yanagi-chan?" he grumbled, "Oh I see how it is. Just cause a guy is in an apron doesn't mean he is a girl...just take Kaoru for example!"
Fuuko looked at him, keeping her guard up. She was still wary about last night. "What are you doing home? Shouldn't you be...out? You always are, nowadays." It was not meant for him to hear the last sentence, but he did.
The words stung him, as he looked at her, "What's wrong with me being here?"
She shook her head. "Nothing... it's just that you usually just go home to sleep, shower, change, and then you leave."
He stared at her dumbfound. Had he neglected his best friend for so long? This girl that was practically a sister to him? (sister?!! Hmph!!) He tried to find the voice in his throat, "Well, today is different. Today is a Tokiya-Fuuko day! Now, go wash up!"
She stared at him, slowly mouthing the same words, 'Tokiya-Fuuko'.
"Well, what are you waiting for Fuuko? Get moving! We got lots of places to go."
"What if I don't want to?" Fuuko asked stubbornly.
Tokiya grinned. "You'll be missing lots of fun stuff, Fuu-chan!"
Slowly, disbelievingly, she turned around to head to the bathroom. "Toki-chan...it's a nice gesture, demo...It still hurts."
~~~
It was but a perfect day, and, as promised, everything was just the two of them and no Anna. They sat in the arcade, talking as Fujimaru-odd ne? use your imagination-served them saying, "Just like old days..." Tokiya couldn't help but feel the arousing guilt rise inside of him.=
Had he really changed that much? Had he neglected her so? He looked at her, guilt from the day before came running back...
"Why are you doing this, Toki-chan?" asked Fuuko.
He decided to ignore the annoying nickname. "Well, you're my best friend, and I think it' my job to cheer you up. I mean, I've been a very bad friend this past few days.
Pause. "Days? What do you mean by that? Don't you think it should be weeks or months?"
Tokiya smiled. "Uh, sure. Yeah. Well, I just didn't want you to be alone all the time."
Pause. Uncomfortable silence filled the air.
"Hey, Fuuko, how about every week we do this? Every Thursday is a Tokiya-Fuuko Day."
She shrugged. "Whatever." She did agree, although in the far corner of her brain, she knew that this tradition, just like the others, probably would not stay for long.
~~~