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Tokiya was at the center of the table. Fuuko was on his left, sitting next to Domon. Koganei was on his right with Ganko next to him. Recca and Yanagi sat opposite him. The ensui wielder, in between servings, took a mental note of his old teammates. Recca was almsot the same, with his outrageous hair and trademark bandaid on the cheek. Only this time he was taller and more broad-shouldered. Though his childishness was still there, Koganei had grown quite significantly and looked rather dashing at 17. He was still a brat in Tokiya's eyes though. Ganko's hair had grown long and she was beginning to mold into a pretty young teenager. Kondo was the same stuffed, obnoxious animal that he was. Domon looked every bit his part a professional wrestler. He wondered if the latter used his Dosei Wa for fighting. And Yanagi....
Yanagi was as beautiful as ever, and her similarity with his deceased sibling Mifuyu was all the more striking. She had bloomed into an attractive young woman. She was sweet and charming as always. She almost took his breath away.
Almost....
The group chatted merrily away. They asked him on what he did in Hokkaido which Tokiya answered less enthusiastically. The team didn't seem to mind though as they kept on a lively conversation. Updating who did what when. Domon bragged about his blooming career as a professional wrestler with All-Japan promotions, while Recca mentioned of his plans of marriage with Yanagi. Koganei was relating his tales about high school and the pains of being a heartthrob. All of which Tokiya listened to with less interest than was expected of him.
They ranted on for what seemed to be an eternity until midnight. Pleasantries and goodbyes were exchanged with a promise to meet again soon. Everybody went their separate ways after that. Recca took Yanagi home while Koganei escorted Ganko.
"I'd love to take you back to your apartment, Fuuko-chan," Domon said heartily, "But my plane for Fukuoka leaves within the hour." he puckered his lips. "So I'll just settle for a goodnight kiss....Ummmmphhh!" Domon fell backwards when his lips were met by Fuuko's fist.
"Dream on, Ishijima!" Fuuko cried, "Not in this lifetime...or the next!"
Domon dazedly regained his composure, "Oiya, Fuuko-chan, you still pack a wallop." He waved goodbye before getting on his vehicle, "I'll see you again sometime."
Fuuko and Tokiya stood still as the van sped away.
"Still carrying a torch for you, I see." he sneered.
Fuuko shook her head,"And for a while I thought he was over it." when Fuuko turned around, she noted Mikagami was walking away.
"Oi, Tokiya!" she ran to follow him, "Wait up!" She tried to keep pace with him but it was rather obvious that Tokiya was deliberately walking faster. "You don't look too happy." Fuuko noted, "Anything wrong?"
Tokiya stopped in his tracks, his back to her. "You could've asked me first if I wanted to see them again."
A look of shock registered on Fuuko's face. "What do you mean? Didn't you want to see your old friends?"
"If and when and where I'd like to see them is my business. Not yours." he replied coldly.
Fuuko froze, "But I thought...I...I just wanted to welcome you back...you know, get the old gang back together. What's so bad about that?"
He still had his back to her. "Did it ever occur to you why I left Tokyo without saying a word to anybody, Fuuko?"
"No.....but...," the surprise in her voice was now beginning to turn into an angry one."You want to be left alone...is that it?" she didn't wait for him to answer. Fuuko bit her lip. "I should've realized...once an island, always an island." she frowned. "I suppose you never really looked at us other than teammates, huh, Mikagami? Nothing more." she was silent for a short while. "And I used to htink we were friends, " she laughed bitterly. "But then I don't think the word rings any bell to you, does it?" Fuuko turned away. "You know Tokiya, I never thought the day would come that I'd compare you to Kurei..." she took a glance at Tokiya who was still quiet. "The old Kurei, that is. Angry. Bitter. Cold. You hate world for being cruel to you and yet you refuse to be comforted. You close the doors to those who wish to care for you."
Fuuko walked away. "I wont force myself or the rest of Team Hokage on you Mikagami," she snorted, "And I thought all my efforts would be appreciated. Now I know."
She had long gone but Tokiya was still standing there by the sidewalk. Fuuko had every right to be angry. She obviously worked hard to get the rest of Team Hokage reunited and here he was angry at her for doing so.
But why?
Why was he upset?
Was it perhaps because he wasn't ready to see them again? That he wasn't prepared to come to terms with his past? Even if it had been 5 years and he said he was burying the hatchet and starting over again?
But that's a coward's reason Mikagami, he told himself, and you are anything but. He wasn't the type to run away from problems nor responsibilities. He would face them head on. Was that not the reason he returned to Tokyo? To exorcise demons of long ago? To make a new life? Close the door of the past? Let go of bitter memories and make a fresh start? He used to think that reuniting with his former teammates would keep him from doing just that, burying his yesterday.
Did it though? Did seeing them again bring back old ghosts? Bring back painful memories? Make him feel the pain of loss and of not having the girl he had given his heart to love her back? The answer was being all too clear, coming up to his face.
He owed Fuuko an apology.
Although they had rehearsals during the weekened, Fuuko would not speak to him. Even if they worked on the same stage. She recited her lines as directed and said nothing more. She came, rehearsed and left without a word to him other than what was written on the script. He attempted several times to talk to her alone, but he was not given the liberty to. Fuuko avoided him like the plague. And he understood why. He had been an insensitive iceberg. One Monday night after rehearsals, Tokiya decided he had had enough. He was going to talk to her whether she wanted to or not.
"Who is it?" Fuuko called as she proceeded to open the front door of her apartment upon hearing the doorbell. "Oh, it's you." she said drily upon seeing Tokiya on her doorstep. She was about to close the door when he put his foot in.
"Talk to me..." he said in a tone so unfamiliar of him, "Or I'll break your door down with the ensui." he half-jokingly added.
Fuuko sighed. "I could do without repairman bills." she opened the door. "What do you want?"
Tokiya stared at her for a couple of seconds before speaking. "I came to apologize."
She assessed him for a while before throwing the door open. "Come in."
Her apartment was smaller than his but it was comfortable furnished. Fuuko asked him to sit while she got something to drink. Tokiya settled on the sofa. While waiting, his attention was drawn to a picture fram on the side table. He picked it up.
The photograph was taken with Mt. Fuji as the backdrop. Smiling on the photograph was Raiha and Fuuko in casual wear. Raiha's arm was on her waist while Fuuko's head was on his shoulder. The picture was almost three years old.
She still loved him, Tokiya decided. Even if she said she was over him, she still displayed their picture together.
He returned the photograph on the desk just as Fuuko arrived with a cup of tea. She put it on the coffee table and took the chair opposite Mikagami.
"Look...I..." Tokiya began a little awkwardly, " I'm sorry about what happened the other day." He looked straight into Fuuko's eyes. "I guess I went overboard." He shrugged. "I shouldn't have said what I've said. It's just that..." he then shifted his gaze blankly into space. "Coming back after a five-year absence...it's not easy. I know I left without a trace..."
"You disappeared literally," Fuuko said softly. "We were all worried about you."
"It does sound a little cruel," he admitted, "Leaving without saying goodbye. But you see, if I did, I might have not left at all." Fuuko cast him a bewildered look. "You know me Fuuko. I wasn't always the most beloved member of the team. Even if I've been through a lot together with you guys, I consider myself a separate entity. A lone wolf." he paused to clear his throat. "The reason I left Tokyo 5 years ago was beause I wanted to go soul-searching. Find myself. I didn't think I could do that with too many memories haunting me here in Tokyo."
"Mifuyu..." replied Fuuko, "And Yanagi."
Tokiya nodded. "Which is also why I didn't want any contact. I wanted to be alone for a while."
"You've always spent your life alone." Fuuko pointed out, "Even if we were around you remained in your solid shell. Untouchable."
"I know." Tokiya confessed. "For five years I've kept to myself, promising that I'm going to make peace with myself. Exorcise my demons and start making my way in the world. That's why I returned to Tokyo."
When Fuuko didn't say anything, Tokiya continued. "So you see why I try to change a few things. I tried making a friend or two."
"Inoki." Fuuko answered.
Tokiya nodded. "And this thing with the theatre. I wasn't really interested...but I thought, why not? It offered a change of environment somehow."
"Okay...Fuuko nodded.
"I was like a child again...just beginning to learn how to walk." he said, "And then when I ran into you...and the rest of Team Hokage...it was like stumbling into a block."
"It was as if I was running straight into a brick wall...so unexpected. I guess you could say I was losing balance." he laughed a little.
"You thought seeing us again will bring back those memories. Bring up the past..." Fuuko said thoughtfully.
Tokiya looked at her. "Yes. I suppose its like seeing a dead man come to life again after attending his burial. Or at least I thought it was." he sighed. A dead silence followed when neither of them spoke. Tokiya was the first one to break it. "After what you told me that night, I realized...that it wasn't the case. That the memories that came back when I met the team all over again were the happy ones. About the good times we've shared when we were together. I know I looked like a frosted snowman then, not smiling and all. Looking disinterested and upset. But deep inside, I was feeling good. Excited. I guess I just let my pride get in the way. Yeah, I suppose that was it. Tokiya Mikagami didn't want to look like an excited little kid. He had to keep up that stiff, uncaring image he used to project. Denying the fact that inside, his heart was melting. That he longed to share good times with great friends that he had turned his back on." he smirked. "I know I'm beginning to sound ridiculous. But what can I do? I was confused...maybe I still am...a little. But these few days of pondering, I finally got to face the truth. Admit a reality."
"And that would be..." Fuuko inquired.
"That I have already put matters to rest. That I have closed one chapter in my life. The chapter with bleak, dark memoirs. And that I am beginning to take a new step towards a new horizon...and doing that with good friends by my side to support me is what I've always wanted to do." And for the first time in a long time, Tokiya found himself smiling a genuine one.
In an unexpected gesture, Fuuko apporached Tokiya and hugged him, giving him a squeeze. "I'm so happy for you, Tokiya." she smiled.
Tokiya hugged her back, his heart overwhelming with a happiness he had not known for a long while. He was glad that he did what he did. He had not only made amends with the friend he had realized to have helped him cast out his inner demons, but he had also made a compromise with himself. It felt good. Really good.
He didn't know how long they had stayed that way. He withdrew, looking Fuuko straight in the face, and he saw tears of joy in her eyes. He wiped one that threatened to fall with his thumb. "You know, I've been really acting bad around you." he said. "This is the nth time I made you get teary-eyed."
Fuuko wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. She stood up and resumed her place opposite Tokiya. "Well these tears are good ones." she said happily. "Not like the ones before, you wretch." she laughed.
"Perhaps I can atone for it by treating you to dinner?" he suggested.
Fuuko's gaze met him challengingly, "My price is high." she joked.
"You deserve it, anyway." he smirked. "Now get dressed and I'll take you to some fancy French restaurant. Don't take too long though. This offer expires in thirty minutes."
Fuuko stuck her tongue out at Mikagami before proceeding to get dressed. The latter laughed and rested on the chair, turning on the TV set while waiting for her to get dressed.
Mikagami kept his word and brought Fuuko to an expensive French restaurant. She had been a little shy ordering, so Mikagami took liberties and ordered the house specialty for her. They had kept a lively conversation then. Tokiya had opened the gateways of his life to his friend, telling her all the things he had used to keep for himself. Fuuko was a good listener, making comments if and when need be. They exchanged stories of what had gone through their lives in the past five years, laughing and teasing every now and then. The hours passed without them noticing it, and the restaurant had neared closing before they decided to call it a night. Tokiya brought Fuuko home to the doors of her apartment.
"I had fun, Tokiya." she smiled at him. "Thanks."
"So did I." he confessed. He paused before continuing. "Perhaps we can...do this again sometime?"
Fuuko looked into the ensui wielder's eyes, and seeing the sincerity in his suggestion, she found herself nodding. "It could get expensive though." she reminded jokingly.
It was his turn to laugh. "We don't always have to do it in an expensive restaurant." he shrugged. "We can do it at my place. I can cook."
"Oooo...your cheapskate streak is coming out." Fuuko giggled. "Alright...maybe some other time."
They stood in silence after that, their gazes locked. As if waiting for the other one to make a move. As Tokiya was about to make his, Fuuko stood on her tiptoes and planted a kiss on his cheek.
"Thanks a lot for a wonderful time, Tokiya." she said. "I'll be looking forward to the next. Good night." and with that she turned about and went in her apartment.
"Good night." was all he could get out of his mouth. Fuuko's stare had held him captive for those brief seconds, and he was at a loss at what he had wanted to do.
"As is you ever kissed a girl." he remembered her teasing him not too long ago. And she was right. All his life, he had never, ever kissed anyone of the opposite sex.
There's always a first time for everything, he thought, smiling to himself. Maybe he could attempt it another time. And with a smile on his lips, he walked away.
Or was Fuuko something more than that?
He had found in her a confidante with whom he could share his inner longings, his dreams, his troubles. And she did that to him too. She told him of her frustrations, her ambitons, her insecurites. They seemed to have formed a bond stronger than what Tokiya ever had, other than that which he had shared with his sister. A bond he did not want to break, lest it caused him insurmountable pain once more.
"Are you ready yet?" he called out one time he dropped by her house to take her out for dinner. He came in and out of her house with liberty. When she didn't answer his ring and he found the door unlocked, he proceeded to come in.
"I'm over here!" she cried, the voice coming from the kitchen.
"Don't tell me you aren't dressed. I don't have all night...." he paused as he saw Fuuko in an apron, bent over the oven and pulling out a tray of baked lasagna. The kitchen was in utter chaos. Bowls, trays, stirring utensils scattered all over the place. Dirty dishes piled high on the sink. Several cookbooks opening into different pages. He was about to ask what she was up to when he saw the beautifully arranged table, with candlelight and two plates decoratively placed on them. Even the napkins were folded into swan shapes.
Fuuko removed her apron, put her hands on her hips and appraoched Tokiya who was looking at the table with awe. "I thought it'd be nice for a change...we eat dinner here, my cooking."
"You can cook?" his brows raised. Fuuko smacked him at the back.
"Not really but you are going to eat this. I worked all afternoon trying to prepare dinner and you are going to appreciate it." she snarled, pushing him down on the seat. "Now wait here while I go change."
Dinner wasn't as bad as Tokiya predicted it to be. In fact, it was rather good. Fuuko beamed proudly that she took a few days practicing how to master the oven without burning anything.
"The play premiere is three days from now." Fuuko commented after serving dessert, a droolworthy Floating Island.
"Uhum. Are you nervous?" he asked as he took a spoonful of the sinful desert.
"Not that nervous." she shrugged, "Of course its the first time I'm starring in the play. I do get a little jittery. Nothing major. And you?"
"Nothing I can't handle." he spoke confidently. "Except maybe...."
"Maybe what?"
He thought for a while of the proper words to say before speaking. "About the last scene....where we have to..."
"Kiss?" she asked.
He nodded, almost shyly. "You were right you know...the first time we talked about it...I've never...kissed a girl."
Fuuko was a little shocked hearing this revelation from Mikagami. Not that she believed he had ever loved again after Yanagi. But this confession made him sound so...insecure. Tokiya Mikagami? INSECURE? The intelligent, good-looking, skilled Mikagami insecured...about kissing a girl?
Fuuko dismissed him. "Geez, don't get all huffy about it. It doesn't have to be real." she laughed. "Is that why you stop at that point in the take?"
He nodded almost embarassingly.
"Don't worry." she reassured him. "You don't have to follow everything in the script. Don't kiss me if you feel uncomfortable with it." she shrugged, "It's not that important a scene. We can ask them to let the curtains down when our faces come closer. Not a problem." a mischievous smile lit her features, "And even if they do require us to do it, have no worries. After all, I know how. Raiha taught me well in that aspect." she laughed.
Tokiya merely smiled at the thought. When he looked at Fuuko, he noted that despite her laughing like a lunatic, there was something, something very wrong. He had noticed it the first time she had told him about her and Raiha's breakup. There was a certain sadness well-concealed in that sea of laughter. Something she wasn't telling him despite this point of their friendship. There was something definitely wrong here, and he wasn't going to rest until he found out what it was.
"I can tell Hamaguchi-san the problem. Don't worry." she said. "And I'll try not to make it look bad for the school's number one heartthrob."
Silence reigned for the following minutes as they finished their dessert. Mikagami helped Fuuko clean up the storm-ridden kitchen. After that they decided to play Final Fantasy VIII on Fuuko's playstation. As Fuuko went in her bedroom to get the CDs, Tokiya's glance was again drawn to the picture lying atop the table by the sofa. The picture of Fuuko and Raiha in happier days, taken in front of Mt. Fuji, obviously drowned in romantic bliss. Somehow this photo was going to be the key to the questions that have been perturbing him.
He was going to find out. And soon.