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~~~
'So this is how it feels like to be such a fool.' She thought, as she looked at her best friend, who was happily talking and flirting with the 'love of his life.' And now what was she to do? Time had flown by as she prayed to the Lord that this would only be a 'fling' like the rest had been. His past relationships were all short, none of them reaching past a month. This girl here, Aki...she was something different. Both Fuuko and Tokiya knew it, and so Tokiya held onto her...
Her prayer had been unheard, for before she knew it, he was gone on Aki. Taking her out to movies, expensive dinners, picnics, and the fabled 'walk on the beach.' He was in love with her, and from what Fuuko had heard from Miki, Aki returned the feeling, ten-fold. Fuuko despondently looked down at her pasta, which was half-eaten and half-picked at. Was this how she was going to spend
the rest of her life doing? Watching HIM from afar, wondering when he would finally realize that Fuuko was truly the love of his life, and not the new girl of the month...
She was so confused. She didn't know what to do. She didn't know what to say, what to think.....'Toki-chan...' she whispered softly, unhearing from the couple across the table from her, looking at each other so lovingly.
'I love you...'
~~~
He had left her again, sitting in the booth of the restaurant. Alone. He had gone off with Aki, chatting and smiling, without giving a second thought to Usagi.
****Flashback****
‘Fuuko', he had said to her, 'Do you mind if Aki and I leave early tonight? We have *plans* for later tonight.' Fuuko had winced.
'Plans, Tokiya-chan?' she had calmly said. 'What kind?' Playing innocent had always worked before.
'Fuu,' he had said warningly, 'that's none of your business.'
She had gasped, eyes wide, her pink little mouth formed an ‘O’ shape. 'Toki-chan!'
He had sighed. 'Gomen, Fuu-chan. Anyway, we're going to leave. Don't wait up for me!'
****End flashback****
'Don't wait up for me...' Those words were ringing in her head, as she sat in the booth, her hands coming up to rub her arms. She was wearing a sleeve-less dress, in hopes that Tokiya would notice her. He hadn't. The lovesick fool was gone on Aki, and Fuuko knew it. Aki was beautiful. She was intelligent, sophisticated, and liked by everyone. Even Fuuko had wished that she had met Aki on a
different level. She knew that they would've have become great friends, had it not been for the fact that Tokiya was dating her.
'Don't wait up for me...'
How many times had she heard those lines? And for how many different reasons? They lived together, yes, but when was the last time that Tokiya had actually been home when Fuuko has gone to sleep? She thought hard. 'About...2 weeks ago?' She gave a sad smile. 'And to think that we used to play games before we went to bed. It was a tradition, Toki-chan..... One that we had to break because of her...' Shaking her head, Fuuko slid out of the booth, and walked out of the revolving doors, heading for home.
Tokiya was having the time of his life. He and Aki had gone to see a movie together, and they were having a blast. Except for one little thing. Tokiya had guilt running through his veins. Not much but still enough to make him feel bad.
'I shouldn't have snapped at her,' he thought sorrowfully, as he imagined her hurt little face, looking at him disbelievingly. 'After-all, it wasn't her fault...'
Aki had turned in her seat, ready to ask Tokiya a question about the movie. The words died in her throat, as she noticed the melancholy look on his face. 'It's Fuuko again, I know it is...Sometimes I think that those two are too close, but...I have him, and he loves me, and so I shouldn't doubt him.'
Satisfied with her way of thinking, she sat back comfortably in her seat, and enjoyed the
rest of the movie.
****Fuuko and Tokiya's Apt. 1:45 AM****
Tokiya quietly turned the lock to open the door that would lead him inside of the apartment. He shut the door, and turned on a light, so he would not run into anything in the dark. Hanging his coat
on the rack, he shuffled inside of the room, walking towards his door. First, however, he opened the door to Fuuko's room to check on her. Tokiya had, however, forgotten that the hallway light was still on,
and the light poured into her room, some settling on her face, and she woke up.
"Toki...Toki-chan?" Came a sleepy voice.
Ignoring the nickname, he answered, "Hai, Fuu-chan. It's me."
Fuuko blinked and rubbed at her eyes. "Toki-chan...What do you want?" She turned over to look at the clock. "Nani ten yo?! (What, are you crazy?) It's practically a quarter to 2 AM! A girl needs her sleep, Tokiya, regardless of—“ She would have continued to rant, despite her sleepy stage, until a warm hand covered her mouth. She instantly shut her mouth.
"Fuu-chan...Gomen."
Her large violet eyes blinked once. "Fooo whooot, fofoo-fan?" Tokiya lifted his hand from her mouth, and Fuuko again said, "For what, Toki-chan?"
His dark grayish-blue eyes looked at her, sorrowfully. "For snapping at you when we were at the restaurant, Fuuko. I really didn't mean to, and I know that you didn't deserve it, so—“
He was cut off by a light kiss on the cheek. "Toki-chan," Fuuko whispered, lovingly, "Don't worry about it. I was too nosy, anyway. Whatever you do with Aki," she had turned her head away, so
he wouldn't notice her eyes darken, "is none of my business, anyway. So cheer up, Toki-chan, and, "she said, in a light tone, "get out of my room! I need my beauty sleep!"
Tokiya stared at her disbelievingly, before standing up, and bending over to give her a light kiss on her forehead.
"Fuuko," he whispered tenderly.
“H-hai?”
“You need to change my nickname. It’s not really appropriate for a grown man like me, ne?”
Grown man indeed. He really has changed a lot from her proctector to a man that she loved.
“Okay.” She nodded for emphasis even though she knew, so did Tokiya, that she couldn’t promise it. ‘Toki-chan’ was common already in Fuuko’s vocabulary.
Fuuko reversed herself into her cheerful, still sleepy, mode and glared playfully at him. “Now move! I might get bags under my eyes and now no guy will ever ask me out!” especially you, she added silently.
"Fuu-chan, you know you don't need anymore beauty sleep." He turned and sauntered out of the room, leaving a wide-eyed Fuuko staring after him.
She touched her forehead ever so gently - she never felt such an amazing feeling arose in her before—
He had done it before, so many times, but the fact that he also called her beautiful - it was pure ecstasy.
"Toki-chan..." she called off, her eyes looking at where he once stood. "I love you..."
But that phrase was just empty words - for they never reached him. They only got lost within the space that separated them. The memory of happiness disappeared, as all she could hear was her heart slowly breaking, as reality had slapped across the face hard.
"But you will never..."
She curled up in a ball.
“Know that.....will you?” she asked quietly looking up at the ceiling.
Her tears threatening to spill, but yet she held them back.
Suddenly, she wasn't able to sleep anymore.
~~~
Yanagi stared at her depression stricken friend - "Fuuko, you just got to give this up! I can't let you continue this... it's hurting you to much." Her friend's voice was desperate, so raw and full of emotions, mostly sympathy for her.
Fuuko looked up, her purple eyes looked at Yanagi's solidly as she spoke two words.
"I can't."
Her voice was strong, as the brunette shook her head, cutting up some onions. Today was a special day - she was to make a banquet of food for her friend, and help her digest it..... "Does he even know what today is?"
Fuuko nodded, surely. He would not forget it, for it had been he who had circled the date in red, a week or two ago. It was in red marker, around the day ''2” in the month of August. Surely he knew, for it had been a day that they always shared together.
"He'll remember. He never forgets." Yanagi shook her head, as she began to sauté the onions, as she began to add some mushrooms into the mixture. "Wait a sec, let me go get the mail."
Fuuko bounced off, happily going on the elevator down towards the lobby, as she picked up Tokiya and her mail. She looked though it, as an envelope with her name on it made her heart beat faster.
The return address was from France.
Fuuko ran towards her apartment, as she swung the door open. "Yanagi-chan! Look, it's that internship that Kagero-chan and you told me to sign up for..." She said, as Yanagi grabbed the letter from her hands and tore it open.
Yanagi shrieked. "Fuuko! You got in! You are going to France for a whole two years!!"
After the second jump, she finally thought of something.
She would not be able to see Tokiya for two years.
How could she survive? How would he survive?
Fuuko made up her mind. "This internship thing - it isn't for me."
Yanagi froze, her eyes looking up at the blond who sunk onto a stool. "I like what I have here.....I have you, Domon-chan, Recca-chan, Ganko-chan and Koganei-chan.... and there is also-"
"Tokiya?! Onegai, Fuuko-chan! Everything you do, is always because of him! He has Aki for god sakes! You can't always do this! Without him knowing it, he is controlling every move you make! You have denied so many relationships... you could, for all I know, be married by now if you haven't stuck to your ways. I'm not trying to say anything, just that I don't want you to waste your dream because of him...I know how much you want to be with him, but I also know your wanting to be a famous fashion designer. This is YOUR big break Fuu! Think about it!"
"But you, Ganko-chan, Re..."
"Remember, you'll have Joker-san. You encouraged her when she had that same dilemma, and said that friend's can always keep in touch. Why can't YOU?"
Fuuko felt her throat restrict, "I'll think about it... but now I have..." the phone interrupted her mid sentence as she picked it up.
"Moshi moshi, Mikagami / Kirisawa residence."
"Fuuko," the voice made her heart melt, "I won't be home today until late. It's Aki's and mine's two month anniversary."
"But, Toki-chan, it's my..."
The dial tone responded.
"Birthday." she had finished up as she burst into tears in her friend's arms.
‘He didn’t even notice me call him To—‘ she stopped thinking and fresh tears spilled once more.
~~~
He came home around midnight... not as late as usual, he had noted. The main lights were dimmed as he walked about so casually, taking off his tuxedo shirt.
"Fuuko..." he called out his friend's name.
No reply. He looked around, as he concluded, 'Hmm... She must be in her room.'
He knocked gently and entered the room. "Hey Fuuko." She looked up at him, not knowing what to say.
What was she to say, 'Ohh Tokiya-chan, you just missed my birthday'? That was something that she had not wanted to say.
"Hi," she replied simply, as he looked at her strangely. She noticed as his eyes roamed around the room, and when they locked with the beautiful boutique of long stem red roses. Those were her favorite flowers because they symbolized a deep and eternal love.
"Who gave you the roses?"
"Ganko-chan." She bluntly replied. "She lives near the flo—“
"The Flower Shop? Yeah, I remember. I thought she only sent you flowers on your birthda..." His voice was lost as she buried herself within the piles of blankets that surround her. "Your birthday... it was your birthday...?"
Fuuko looked up. “Gee, Tokiya-san! How did you come up with that? Maybe you were to busy? With Aki?” she asked innocently but sarcastically.
Okay, so it showed in her voice that she was angry but he truly deserved it!
Her words flinched in his heart. Tokiya-san. It was such a formal thing to say and he was now sure that she was truly angry at him.
Out of all the occasions, he just had to miss her birthday. Her birthday had always been a sore spot in her heart - for it was the day that her mother had left her. He remembered hearing her talk about it, on the first birthday he celebrated with her, the mist of depression always surrounded her whenever she talked, thought about it.
And now, he couldn't help but think he had done exactly what her mother had done.
Abandoned her.
"Gomen nasai Fuuko..."
She had heard that phrase too much.
Fuuko glared at him. “Don’t you think you should change it? We’ve heard that song around two many time already. I’m getting—no wait! I’m sick of it already!”
Everything was now, "I'm sorry, gomen ne... gomen nasai..." she couldn't help and wonder if any of them were true, or just petty words to make her feel as if he cared.
“Demo, Fuuko-chan! Hontou watashi gomennasai (I really am sorry)!”
"Tokiya-san... I want to go to sleep. Could you just leave me alone. You must be an expert at that by now!" He felt so taken back.
'Leave me alone.'
‘You must be an expert at that by now’
She had never said such words, and if she had, she always said it so delicately. But could he blame her? This was their day. The day they would spend together to wipe away the thoughts of the past that was in her mind.
'But even those days have been wiped away also...' Fuuko thought bitterly.
"Fuu-chan..."
"Please. Tokiya," he flinched again. No –san or –chan connected. "I don't want to speak with
you," she stared at him blankly, “Ever” she added.
"But, Fuu-chan—“
"Tokiya, like you said before, don’t you think ‘Fuu-chan’ is too inappropriate for a grown woman like me?" she mimicked him.
“Demo, Fuuko—“
“Tokiya,” she looked up at him, her eyes large in the darkness. "You left me...How could you leave me?" She shook her head. "It doesn't matter anymore...Nothing ever does when it comes to you."
"Fu-"
"Leave. I want you to leave."
The sharpness of her voice, the tension in the room... He blinked back the tears that had come up during her speech. Obeying her wishes, he walked out of the room, leaving her to cry herself to
sleep for yet the second time this week.
~~~
The sweet aroma of pancakes filtered her lungs as she felt her mind pull her away from the wonders of the dream world and back into reality. She stretched, as she pulled herself up from her bed.
'Could it be Toki-chan cooking?' She shook her head.
Of course not.
He would be off, happily talking and going out with Aki, instead of being here with her.
It must be Yanagi then, she always knew how to mend her broken heart.
She trudged herself into the kitchen, "Hey Yana-chan." She then took a good look 'Yanagi-chan... 'I never knew she had short black hair... and is an exact replica of Tokiya...'
"Yana-chan?" he grumbled, "Oh I see how it is. Just cause a guy is in an apron doesn't mean he is a girl... just take Saicho for example!"
Fuuko looked at him, keeping her guard up.
She was still wary about last night. "What are you doing home? Shouldn't you be...out? You always are, nowadays." It was not meant for him to hear the last sentence, but he did.
The words stung him, as he looked at her, "What's wrong with me being here?"
She shook her head. "Nothing... it's just that you usually just go home to sleep, shower, change, and then you leave."
He stared at her dumbfound.
Had he neglected his best friend for so long? The girl that was practically a sister to him? He tried to find the voice in his throat, "Well, today is different. Today is a Toki-Fuu day! Now, go wash up!"
She stared at him, slowly mouthing the same words, 'Toki-Fuu.'
"Well, what are you waiting for Usa-ko? Get moving! We got lots of places to go."
“What if I don’t want to?” she asked using her stubborn method.
Tokiya stared at her disbelieving. “Then I guess you’ll be missing one of OUR days, Fuu-chan!”
Slowly, disbelievingly, she turned around to head to the bathroom. 'Toki-chan...it's a nice gesture, demo...It still hurts.'
~~~
It was but a perfect day, and, as promised, everything was just the two of them (and no Aki for once ^^;). They sat in the arcade, talking as Saicho served them saying, "Just like old days..." Tokiya couldn't help but feel the arousing guilt rise inside of him.
Had he really changed that much? Had he neglected her so? He looked at her, guilt from the day before came running back.
"How about every week we do this? Let’s say, we’ll have every Thursday as a Toki-Fuu day. Just the two of us! No one else!"
She agreed, although in the far corner of her brain, she knew that this tradition, just like the others, probably would not stay for long.
~~~
Author’s Notes:
Hi! Okay, second chapter.....whew! I spent all day nagging my sister just to let me have the computer already! I swear she’s got a brick for a head!
Anyway, hope you like this since my fingers are already numb. Can you believe? Done by THIS time? It is exactly 1:00 am and I still am starting the 3rd chapter.....so, let’s just try to be patient, ne?
Okay! So sayonara! Till next time! And please! Take time to read this, kay? That’ll do for all these other authors!
By the way, the characters of FoR aren’t mine so please! Don’t sue me!
Sorry to all those Tokiya lovers who like Mokagami the way he is! As I said, don’t sue me if Tokiya’s gotten soft! And, true love, and I quote from someone, makes someone turn into mush.
Not exactly the real words but.....why bother exactly looking again in your e-mail address and exactly copy the whole thing? That takes too much time!
Anyway, need to flame me or anything? E-mail me here: chi_chan1012@hushmail.com; chi_chan1012@edsamail.com.ph