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She stared at him intently, as she wondered how he had kept this up for so long.
He had continued to keep his promise about their 'day'.
For the past week they had always met on Thursday, always having the day to themselves. Sometimes Aki came along, and respected their time together, never saying anything against them having this day – 'Aki is so perfect for him.' She had thought, as she looked ahead, out to the main window of the car.
'She's so beautiful and perfect for him. I can't help but admit that they seem as if they were meant to be.' Her eyes looked downcast upon the thought. 'But I can't help but wish that not to be…' Aki was a compassionate straight foreword person that loves Tokiya with so much passion and emotion – and even though she tried to hate her, she could not. She had done nothing to her but make Tokiya happy.
'Oh Toki-chan…I love you'
~~~
"Fuuko," his voice wrapped around her mind so delicately as she turned
her head to face him, her eyes blazing into his deep grayish-blue ones
as the colors of the sunset surrounded them. His hands were on the steering
wheel as he drove his red convertible towards their friend's house.
"Is something wrong? You seem distant – if you feel ill, I can take
you home…Saicho won't miss us that
much, he'll be to busy entertaining his guests."
"Iie, iie, I was only think of things Toki-chan, you don't need to worry about me, I'm perfectly fine." She let out a happy smile as he nodded in reply, adverting his attention back to the road as the turned into the driveway, finding one spot left, surprisingly gullible.
"I think Saicho RSVP this spot for us," Tokiya said with a laugh, as in front of them was a sign, 'Toki-Fuu parking space'.
Fuuko sat there and blinked. 'Toki-Fuu…Yes, that's the way it should me, Toki-chan. Just
you and me.'
Instead, she shook her head and laugh, "How hysterical… And you were saying that he wouldn't miss us if we were not to come." She said with a smile playing upon her face.
Tokiya shrugged, "Dunno, Saicho's just weird like that…"
"But, we love him anyways." She finished up for him, as he nodded, the two entering the party as she looked up at him once more, her purple lobes staring so intently at him.
He was so carefree, so beautiful, with a heart so thick and bold. 'He's going to make one girl so happy… oh Kami (God), how I wish it would be me.'
~~~
She stood in the corner, her eyes looking around at everyone. She didn't feel like lingering with the others, she wanted to be alone right now, to let the loneliness pull her away from the rest of the world so she could just think about everything that was happening to her…
She recalled the argument Yanagi and her had had previously today as another letter from France came along.
***Flashback***
"They really want to you, Fuu!" Yanagi's voice was high and singsong, as she looked at the letter, and back at her enthusiastic friend.
Her heart thumped with such notation.
'They want me-' but her thoughts had stopped as her heart began to think once more, as it always did.
She always let her heart decided, for she believed that your heart is never wrong.
"I don't know Yanagi, I mean, I don't think I would like this experience. I don't know anyone, and well, I don't think I'm quite ready for all this." She answered, as Yanagi's eyes narrowed down at her, ready to pounce.
"Not ready?! Oh Kami! Fuu! You know this is what you want!! You have Joker-san there! Remember, he's a doctor and you two always got along for so long! And you won't miss us – you can always visit. Girl, think about it, this internship is such a wonderful opportunity for you! It opens up a new window for you? Think about it, your job does not help you at all. What do you do there? Errands. You have to bring this over there and that over here. Fuuko, you have such potential, don't put it in waste!"
"Demo, I don't know, I'm so confused! I want to go, but I don't want to… It is a good opportunity, but then I won't get to be with…" she looked away, clutching the letter tightly.
Yanagi gathered her friend in her arms. "This is what it's all about ne, Fuuko? Tokiya. Why don't you tell him how you feel?"
She pulled away from her friend, "How can I tell a person that I known for all my life that I am 'madly, deeply, passionately in love' with him? The guy that I have been through everything with, the one that lets me cry on his shoulder when I feel like dying? Anyways, he's thinking about proposing to Aki – what use is it anyways? He's too hung up on Aki to even notice me…"
"Fuuko—“
But her voice was drowned out by her friend's heart retching sobs.
***End of Flashback***
She snapped out of reality as a song drifting around her, sucking her into its atmosphere and it's sorrow.
She took the cup in her hand, as she began to drink the punch that was held within it. Her mind spun with everything that was happening as she refilled it and continued to drink it up, as one sentence filled her mind, 'Have you ever…Yes,' she thought with bitter irony. 'I have.'
~~~
He didn't think she'd end up this bad… he only left her alone for twenty minutes. But the next think he knew she stood, sitting on the couch, her hand holding onto it tight as she prayed for the world to stop spinning on her.
"Fuuko, what's the matter…" he had asked, as she groaned in reply.
"You didn't drink the punch, did you?"
She groaned louder this time, as he shook his head.
"Fuuko, you should know that they spike it…"
She groaned a long and agonizing moan as he shook his head.
"Never did I think I would see the day that you would be intoxicated right in front of me," she looked up and glared at him, as he shook his head in reply.
He sighed, helping her up, as she smiled at him gratefully.
"Neon thinks you're hot."
He stared at her strangely, as he recalled his meeting with Neon.
It was not the most pleasant, for she had glared at him, giving him the third degree, "My dear, you are truly, madly, raving drunk."
With those words, he called out to his best friend, "Saicho, I'm taking Fuuko home, she had a little too much to drink…"
Saicho nodded in acknowledgement as the two stumbled out, as Fuuko continued to babble continuously. He led to the car, as he drove her home.
"France…hmm…far far far away… is that why it starts with a F?"
Tokiya continued to drive, drowning Fuuko's endless babbling with music. He looked at her, noticing that he was blocking off the sound of silence now, as he saw the raven haired looking out of the window, staring intently at the stars. "I wonder if there is life upon the stars…you think it’s big enough for a big girl like me to stand upon.., or maybe..." she said softly, as her hands slowly touched the glass of the window at where the stars looked like it was. "I wish I could be living the moon, the stars, possibly another glaxy. But the moon seems to be my best choice… it seems to be so clam and serene…"
She sighed, "Toki-chan, don't you wish you lived on the moon?"
He groaned.
~~~
'How does she do it?' He wondered, as he carried her into the apartment easily. 'She is so thin and fits in my arms so perfectly—I wonder where does all the food she stuffs inside her go? Wow, she has high metabolism…'
His leaned his leg onto the wall, as he shifted the weight that was on his right arm to the leg as he took out his keys from his pocket. With that, he opened the door, closing it with his leg as soon as he went in.
He put her in her room, as she sunk into her bed so elegantly, as she looked so innocent—
He sighed, "Fuuko, you are a handful."
With the sound of her name, she softly opened her eyes, "Toki-chan…"
He smiled at her, ignoring the nickname once more. "Hey Fuu-chan, how are you feeling?"
"Fine fine," she said softly, as her head spun, "or not…" She giggled profoundly, "You know what Toki-chan?" She said in a low pitch as he raised an eyebrow.
"What?"
She whispered those three words that she longed to say for so long into his ears.
"I love you."
"Nani?" He said incredibly, as she looked up.
"I love you Toki-chan, ever since I was thirteen – Hehehe…" she said, her eyes looking through him, "but you never cared…" she said, her face downcast. "But it doesn't matter, as long as I can be by your side…"
She closed her eyes as she took a deep breath.
"…as long as you are happy…"
She drifted off.
He stared in shock.
'She *loves* me?'
~~~
She now knew what a hangover was. She now concluded with something, NEVER drink punch. She trudged out of the bathroom and into the kitchen where Tokiya sat, sipping coffee and reading the newspaper.
"Very professional looking, Tokiya-chan." She told him a he looked up at her in surprise, as he swallowed hard.
"Are you feeling better?" He asked, as she nodded, he watched her, as his mind spun. 'I love you Toki-chan…'
That's what she said, and the words kept on haunting him.
'Maybe she was drunk and didn't know what she was saying…' and yet…
"Fuuko…yesterday, you said something and I was wondering if it was true or not. It sounded a little too fabled to be real and… I…" she stared at him, not knowing what he was talking about, "Nani, Toki-chan?"
"You said… umm… you said you loved me… you were playing right?"
Those words stung her heart.
'You were playing right?'
Her head bobbed up and down as he sighed in relief. "Ohh, good."
She felt like crying.
~~~
'You were playing right?'
'Ohh, good…'
"How inconsiderate pompous jerk that basterd is!" Domon's voice rose high, as Yanago tried to cool down her friend.
Fuuko continued to look up at the empty ceiling.
'A little too fabled…'
'You were playing right?
'Ohh, good.'
Her mind spun.
'A little too fabled…'
'You were playing right?
'Ohh, good.'
'A little too fabled…'
'You were playing right?
'Ohh, good.'
'He doesn't love me.' she thought bitterly.
‘Face the facts, Kirisawa! He’ll never love you the way he loves Aki!’ he mind screamed at her and she felt her heart ripping into two.
‘He just doesn’t look at me the way she looks at Aki.’ She thought, as she felt tears storm her eyes. 'All this time of wishing and hoping and dreaming – but no, he doesn't love me…' she held on tight
to the stuff kitten in her hands. 'Why couldn't he have pretended that he had not heard…'
Ever since that day after her awful hangover, they haven't talked much.
Everything was awkward… the silence between them. It had been two weeks, and they
haven't spent more than five minutes in each other's presence, and if they had, it was a miracle. There was too much looking away, and stuttering, so one of them would come up with an excuse to leave. She made up her mind.
"I can't stand this anymore," she softly said, as the two friends looked at her, their squabbling ceased.
"I'm going to France. I'm going away from all this. I'm going away from Tokiya… I can't stand this anymore. One can only take enough."
Yanagi said nothing as her friend began to pick up the phone as she dialed to the phone number written down on the notepad as Domon asked, "Are you sure of this?"
Ever since that day, she had been thinking about doing this.
What was she to do? Continue on living with a man that refused her?
Maybe others can handle this, but she was a very emotional person and could not handle the rejection.
"Hai. I'm positive."
The two friends looked at her and smiled sympathetically.
“It’s your decision, Fuu-chan.” Yanagi said patting her shoulder.
Domon nodded. “Yeah! But we’ll surely miss you! You better write to us everyday and we’ll keep you posted and sruff. Try coming back after those years and then give us some presents!”
Fuuko smiled ruefully. She knew what Domon meant about the posted and stuff line. It was all about Tokiya.
Suddenly she had the urge to cancel but she knew it was the right thing to do to stop all of this wild goose chase. She had to leave.
She then booked a flight for tomorrow night.
~~~
He sighed, as he looked at his watch. It was the second Thursday that went by, as he began to feel terrible.
'Oh god, I'm neglecting her once more -' He thought as he went into the apartment, closing the door behind him.
Looking at his watch, he was sure that she was home, she was *always* home around now.
He looked around the apartment, the living room, the kitchen, the bathroom, and her room… but what had frightened him about her room was the fact that all of her important possessions were missing.
He panicked.
He picked up the phone and began to dial a number, as a soft voice replied, "Moshi moshi?"
"Yanagi-chan? Where's Fuu-chan? She's not here…I can't seem to find her any where…!"
Yanagi's breath became deeper.
"Tokiya-kun, you are such a fool! You stabbed her in her heart! Goddamn it, she *loves* you!! She loves you so much!" yanagi's voice screamed at him, as he felt like punching himself in the head.
'A little too fabled…'
'You were playing right?
'Ohh, good.'
He could recall the words that he had said, and the way he had blocked her face wincing in pain as he said those words.
"Where is she? Onegai, please, I need to talk to her…"
"To late. It's too late Tokiya-kun."
"Nani--?"
"She's gone. She left to France an hour ago."
He screamed in frustration.
~~~
Author’s notes:
‘Sup! This is the 3rd chapter but maybe I’ll put an interlude in between chapters 3 and 4 doncha think? Yup! I think I’ll do that. Anyway, wait for the interlude!